Faking Manipal

MU hostels to make Justin Bieber alarm tones compulsory

After receiving numerous complaints from hostel inmates about the alarm tone disturbance from the rooms of heavy sleepers, MU has set up a committee to look into this problem. The committee, headed by Brig.Bappi Lahiri, has come up with an unique idea as per which all the students who wish to use alarm clocks (or any similar device) are required to have Justin Bieber songs as their alarm tones.

Explaining the rationale behind the move, Brig.Bappi Lahiri said, “We did an extensive study to find out what irks our students most. It didn’t take much time for us to find out that it’s the lectures which mostly get on their nerves. So we thought of recording the lectures in the classes and incorporate them as alarm tones into customized clocks. But the teachers  opposed this move as they find it demeaning to them. After a few trials, we found that as soon as we play Justin Bieber‘s songs near the rooms of heavy sleepers, most of them woke up and opened the doors with a horror look on their faces.”

He recalled an instance during the trials where an inmate of Chandrashekhar hostel had to be rushed to trauma after listening to Himesh Reshamiyya‘s song. After this incident, plans of playing Himesh Reshamiya’s songs have been withdrawn. “There might be some heart patients in the hostels. We don’t want to kill our students; we just want to wake them up. So, anticipating the worst, we withdrew the plans of playing Himesh Reshamiyya‘s music,” said Lahiri.

He showered praises on his team as they had to face abuses like “Kaun hai woh bhen**** ! Subah subah shuru kiya…koi kaam nahi” , “ch**** saale” etc…

The move has been welcomed by the students who frequently get disturbed by alarm sounds. One such student from tenth block MIT Hostels, Sreeshanth Nair, said,”A good move by MU after a long time. This will reduce a lot of headache for us and will also save those heavy-sleepers from getting ordis.”

Leaked image of the proposed Custom Made Justin Bieber Alarm Clocks for Manipal Students.

We also tried contacting some heavy-sleepers, most of them didn’t open their doors. One of them opened the door with drowsy eyes but refused to speak and yelled something at our blogger which he didn’t get.

The authorities said the custom-made alarm clocks featuring Bieber‘s songs will be made available to students in a fortnight.

P.S: All the facts in this article are made up! But you already knew that didn’t you?

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