Faking Manipal

Students Banned From End Point Manipal after Major Fire

At approximately 6:30 pm  today a major fire broke out at End Point Manipal. Sources tell us that the fire spread from the collector office and was moving towards the cricket ground at the End Point. Various trees and shrubs have been burnt down.

“A dense smoke cloud drew my attention in the afternoon. I ran towards it to see what was happening! I realized that the fire had gone out of control and informed the authorities immediately! Good thing the fire did not break out after 12 in the night otherwise there would have been no students to warn about it!” said Tanmay Bhat, an exceptionally handsome guy who was participating in Tarang 2015, a kite flying festival organised by Volunteer Services Organisation – Manipal University.

Dr. Ravan Changi, a resident of one of the many apartments that have mushroomed around End Point Manipal, sent us photos of the destruction of End Point as it happened. He said, “I was worried, I will not be able to go and study there at 2 am, as I was doing for so many days.” We had to remind him that, it was not possible any way as Students have been banned from going out after 11:30 pm in Manipal.End Point Fire Manipal

The swift action by the authorities is the reason the fire was controlled in time before the entire End Point was engulfed in flames.

“The fire could not have been controlled this effectively without the help of the  Mr DoodhMalai of the Udupi police force”, said a high-ranking MU official who doesn’t want to be named.

Mr Doodhmalai, an experienced firefighter himself, said “This was nothing! It was child’s play for me! I have an injection for every disease you see!”

We all thank Mr. Doodhmalai for his blessings on Manipal University! End Point Fire
As a result of this havoc, students have been banned into entering the End Point campus in the coming future. Many students have tried to raise concerns about the ban but the officials have assured them that this step is essential for their own safety.

So what if you can’t enjoy the End Point anymore. You will be safe. And that is what matters at the end of the day.

P.S.: All the facts in this article are made up. But you already knew that, didn’t you?

Co-authored by Dr. Vishaal Bhat.

The pictures above are real. 
The fire was a controlled one to clear away the wild bushes and shrubs that allow 
breeding of insects and cause problems to the local residents.

Faking Manipal

Manipal Students Celebrate Holi with Festive Fervour

In what can only be the enterprising nature of students at Manipal, we at Manipal Blog have learnt that the festival of Holi was celebrated with great vigour in this University town tonight.

While the rest of the country was busy lighting diyas and bursting crackers, students in this two-square-mile town had nothing to do with it. The Manipal University had decided to do away with the annual fireworks show and celebrate a “Green Diwali”. They even chopped down a couple of trees near the Tiger Circle, to show how serious they were of celebrating a Green Diwali.

Heeding the call of the University, students did not burst a single cracker this year, and instead played Holi. The gods must have been please with the students this year as there was a continuous downpour of happy tears from the skies. There were a lot of selfie moments as well, what with the Thunder and Lightning show that began just as the festivities started.

The downpour continued till late at night and as this article is being typed, the lightning continues to appear in the western skies over this town.

A student of MIT Manipal, got on to twitter to complain that this year the Hostels have been very quiet and this has disturbed him a lot. Every year he was used to loud sounds in the corridors, exploding dustbins and broken windows, however, this year it has been awfully quiet. Being an engineering student this has made him lose faith in humanity.

Meanwhile, shops at Manipal and Udupi which wanted to sell crackers were taken by surprise when more and more students asked them for colors to spray on their friends.

P.S.: All the facts in this article are made up. But you already knew that, didn’t you?


Faking Manipal

D-block MIT Hostels to be named after Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella

MIT Manipal will now have a hostel block named after its stalwart alumnus and CEO of Microsoft, Satya Nadella. D-block, where Nadella stayed during his time in the college, will receive this honor.

The development was released to media by Registrar of Manipal University. “Manipal University is proud of its alumnus Satya Nadella. As a token of gratitude, we decided to name the hostel block where he stayed after him. We take this opportunity to once again wish him all the best in his future endeavors,” he said in a press note.

Anticipating high demand for D-block, MIT management have decided to charge a premium on the hostel fee. If the demand is still high, then they will allot the rooms via auction.

A Glimpse of D-block, MIT Hostels
A Glimpse of D-block, MIT Hostels

Adding ‘Computers-IT’ touch to it, D-block MIT Hostels will now be officially called DNS (D-Nadella-Satya) when referred in short form.

The inmates of D-block MIT Hostels will get free Windows 8.1 OS and 14.3 GB of free storage on Microsoft cloud computing platform Azure. Also they will provided with Xbox console in a common room to play games.

MIT doesn’t have the culture of naming the hostel blocks after people. We are not sure if they made an exception in this case or starting a new trend.

P.S.: All the facts in this article are made up. But you already knew that, didn’t you?

Faking Manipal

Manchester United Manipal Fans In MIT Allotted Separate Hostel Block

In a controversial move, the management of MIT hostels decided to put up all Manchester United Manipal Fans in a separate block. The announcement regarding this has come out today after a high-level meeting among the officials of the college.

Explaining the reasons for the decision, chief warden of MIT hostels said, “Over the past few years, we have received complaints from students about the unacceptable conduct of Manchester United Manipal Fans in hostels, especially TV rooms. We didn’t take it seriously initially but as the complaints poured in large numbers, we had to take some action. We appointed some spies and based on their report we decided to put up Manchester United Manipal Fans in one single hostel block. This is done in the interest of all the students and it shouldn’t be seen as discrimination.”

Manchester United Building
How the new hostel block at MIT Manipal may end up looking like. The Hostel block is likely to be constructed closer to Agumbe.

However first year Man U fans won’t have to stay in the separate block.

Fans of other football clubs are elated over the move. “Good riddance!! We can watch soccer matches in peace now,” said Lionel Rossi, a student who stays in 14th block. He added, “The freshies this year should consider themselves lucky. We had to put up with these people when Man U were winning.”

Another student Tittier Trogba recollected the horror experiences with a Man U fan. “My roommate who is my best friend otherwise tore the poster of Chelsea in my first year. He’s also responsible for pain in my ear when he once shouted GLORY GLORY MANCHESTER UNITED in sleep. I will miss him but he is better put up in that separate block.”

But Man U fans seem to be quite chilled out with the move. “Thank you MIT for providing the exclusivity factor for us Man U fans. Can’t ask for more,” opined a Man U who is wearing the team jersey. Two other fans also expressed similar opinion.

As per sources, the block will be called GGMU block and it will be painted in red. Efforts are in progress to accommodate KKR fans in the same block as well.

P.S. The facts mentioned in this article are fictitious. But you already know that. Didn’t you?

Faking Manipal

Manipal Student Doesn’t Lose Umbrella For 3 Weeks During Monsoon!

Gaurav Kode, a student at Kasturba Medical College, Manipal has just come out with a startling piece of information. He has claimed to not have lost his umbrella during the three weeks of Monsoon this year.

This in Manipal, where Umbrellas are lost in the blink of the eye, especially during the rainy season that lasts from June to October and sometimes beyond that. The national game of Manipal, is named after this particular process. Mr. Kode has claimed that this is the first time in 3 years he’s stayed at Manipal, that he hasn’t needed to buy an umbrella every week (further prodding he changed that to “borrowing” a new umbrella every week).

Quintessential Manipal - The Umbrellas tell the story of the Monsoons at Manipal! Colorful and Ubiquitous
Quintessential Manipal – The Umbrellas tell the story of the Monsoons at Manipal! Colorful and Ubiquitous. However, this year they are conspicuous by their absence.

There have been reports from other students that people are not playing the Umbrella exchange game this year with the same gusto like the earlier years.

Meanwhile, Umbrella sales have taken a hit this year.

The store keeper at a major Manipal Store near tiger circle confirmed the same when we enquired about it. However, he refused to blame the poor monsoons for the fall in umbrella sales. He said that even during summer, they have sold more umbrellas this year.

In earlier years, the pre-monsoon months were marked by the high-decibel innovative advertisements of new umbrella products, mainly for schoolkids, rolled out by competing companies. But this time, Mr. Modi paid the media to carry his own advertisements and in that process we lost out.

He said, “Each year, rain or no rain, we used to sell a lot of umbrellas. However, this year, students have become smart. They’ve read and listened to news and weather reports. This interest in news was generated by one man – the current PM of India. If it weren’t for Mr. Modi, students would have carried umbrellas to the library, thinking that it would rain.”

Another shopkeeper in Udupi added, we used to sell umbrellas to students in Manipal, because of some game they used to play, called the umbrella exchange. This year they are following the world cup football in the comforts of their homes. That is the main reason we’ve lost business.

Whatever the reason, If this trend holds, Umbrellas may be a thing of the past in Rainy Manipal!

P.S. The facts mentioned in this article are fictitious. But you already know that. Didn’t you?


Faking Manipal

Manipal University Finally Gets Recognition From Sharma Aunty; Erupts In Joy

Riding high on the recent success of its alumni Satya Nadella and Rajeev Suri in the corporate world, Manipal University today added another feather in its cap by getting much-coveted recognition from Sharma Aunty. This historic moment took place at Chandni Chowk during an afternoon banter of a group of aunties.

Ketan Bhagat, a third year student from MIT Manipal, was asked by Sharma aunty in the colony about his college. When he said ‘Manipal Institute of Technology, Manipal University’, he saw awe and admiration in her eyes. She then asked, “Woh CEO wala college na?”

Ketan, who was used to responses like ‘drugs wala college’, ‘donation college’ ‘Sikkim wala college’ etc. so far, was left speechless for a while. He was even more surprised when Sharma aunty knew the exact location of Manipal University and proceeded to demonstrate it on the map of India.

Sharma aunty finally recognises Manipal University.
Sharma aunty finally recognises Manipal University.  
P.S. We apologise for the resemblance of Sharma aunty with a prominent Member of Parliament. This is absolutely co-incidental.

He immediately called up  Manipal University and broke the news to them. The public relations officer of Manipal University then convened a press conference and announced this recognition to whoever was listening in the world.

“We humbly accept this recognition from Sharma aunty. It is a great moment for us. This wouldn’t have been possible without the hard work of our students and staff. I dedicate this honor to the Manipal University family. I also use this occasion to convey my special thanks to our alumni Satya Nadella and Rajeev Suri who brought laurels to Manipal University recently,” he said in the press conference.

As soon as the news came out, thousands of students took to streets to celebrate this unique achievement. ManipalBlog managed to speak to one such student Virat Kohli in the boisterous crowd. He screamed, ” THANK YOU, SHARMA AUNTY. YOUR RECOGNITION IS A TIGHT SLAP TO MY F**** NEIGHBOUR GUPTA UNCLE!!”

Reportedly, DeeTee and Blue Waters have announced free drinks today marking the occasion. The laundry walas are offering free laundry for a week and the dobermen have decided to celebrate by being more uncooperative with the students.

P.S.: All the facts in this article are made up. But you already knew that, didn’t you?

Faking Manipal

Move Over Suri, Nadella; Manipal Leopard Now Named CEO of Mangalore Zoo

After Satya Nadella and Rajeev Suri, it is the Manipal Leopard that puts the town in news. Manipal leopard, which was caputured in the town a few days back, was appointed as CEO of Pilikula Zoo, Mangalore. The big cat was taken to Pilikula Zoo after it was captured and since then impressed the zoo authorities with its conduct.

The elevation to the role of CEO didn’t come easy for the leopard. It had a tough competitor in another leopard that was captured in IIT Bombay and brought to the same zoo.Leopard Manipal

Both of them conducted themselves extremely well but what titled the dice in Manipal Leopard’s favor is its survival in Manipal forest for two months evading the threat from Manipal Bug. In fact, it made a deal with the insect and lived with it in harmony before it got captured.

“I liked its survival instincts. It also has excellent managerial skills and maintains good relations with other animals in the zoo. I am sure it will not disappoint me in its new role as CEO,” said Prakash Shetty, president of Pilikula Zoo.

Manipalblog contacted the Leopard via email. It has credited Manipal for what it is today.

“Manipal was the best time I ever had in life. A great place with wonderful people and fantastic memories. Those beautiful gardens at End Point, Potato Lovers at Snackshack and KMC Greens… I miss them. Without my stint at Manipal, I wouldn’t have been the CEO today,” said the Leopard.

Students of Manipal were visibly elated at the news. A huge flex poster was put up at End Point congratulating the leopard on its success. Also they named the junction at End Point after the leopard calling it ‘Leopard Circle’.

The immediate task for the Leopard in its new role is to increase the number of tigers in the zoo. We hope the leopard achieves its target and lives up to expectations.

P.S.: All the facts in this article are made up. But you already knew that. Didn’t you?


Faking Manipal

KMC Manipal Students to get 3 days attendance if they attend classes on Saturday

After the huge and successful UTSAV 2014 campaign by students of KMC Manipal, the administration has announced that the students will be given three days attendance on Saturday April 19th.  The news comes close on the heels of MCODS Mangalore getting a holiday on Saturday to celebrate their second place in Utsav 2014.

This measure was decided at the weekly faculty meeting of the college held today evening at 5 PM to celebrate the victory at UTSAV. The cultural coördinator requested that extra attendance be given to students to make up for the bunked classes during the previous week, not just for the participants and volunteers. However, another faculty member objected to the same and suggested that attendance be given only for genuine reasons. After much debate a compromise was reached and it was decided that students who attend classes on the weekend i.e. April 19th will be rewarded with 3 days attendance.

When we contacted the students, a few of them welcomed the move and said that it will help them make up for bunking classes earlier, while some said that they will have more than 100% attendance. This will come in handy to bunk classes later.

However, a few students were saddened and asked why they were being punished for taking part in Utsav. They said that they had planned a weekend in Goa, taking advantage of the extended weekend. “17th April is already a holiday for voting, while 18th is Good Friday. I had planned a huge weekend together with my close friends in Goa. Though I plan to go ahead, it looks doubtful whether my friends will be joining me now” said Ishan Khajuria, a student in 2nd year, considered as the honeymoon phase of MBBS.

Meanwhile, students of MIT Manipal, reacted to this news with happiness. Saurav Prakash from Chemical engineering batch said “Last week KMC students were celebrating loudly after winning the Utsav trophy. Many were being arrogant and taunting us that we couldn’t take part because of sessionals. This comes as just reward. Now, we MITians will take the weekend to Goa, while KMCites will be stuck as they will be in two minds. They now will be confused, whether they are being punished or rewarded.”

P.S.: All the facts in this article are made up. But you already knew that. Didn’t you?


Faking Manipal

DeeTee owner invited to give talk to IIM-B students

Manipal is in the news again. Not because of MIT, KMC or TAPMI. It’s because of DeeTee. The owner of the legendary bar in the town has been invited by IIM Bangalore to deliver branding lessons to its students.

Soon in Bangalore! Image Courtesy: Manipal The Talk
Soon in Bangalore! Image Courtesy: Manipal The Talk

So how did the glory of DeeTee hit the campus of IIM-B? Speaking to Manipalblog, the director of IIM-B said, “I first heard about DeeTee when a couple of our students with Manipal background asked for leave to visit the town. Initially they gave some lame reason but when I grilled further they confessed they want to visit Manipal only for DeeTee. I wondered why they chose some bar in small town when there are so many good pubs here in Bangalore.”

And a few days back when DeeTee announced that they are going to open their branch in Bangalore, he saw Manipal alumni and students going crazy over it online. Then he strongly felt his students should be knowing the story of branding of DeeTee and how it became an integral part of Manipal life.

The owner of DeeTee Ajay Mallya was elated with the invitation from IIM-B. “I am humbled by this gesture. I wholeheartedly dedicate this to my customers,” he said speaking exclusively to ManipalBlog. On being asked what’s the secret of DeeTee’s success, he said, “Very simple. From my end, I kept the prices low. And choice of music is left to customers. These are well complemented by the cool crowd of Manipal.”

We approached Dr. Chowdari Prasad, Dean of TAPMI for his views on the development. He congratulated the owner and said, “Personally I don’t like or endorse alcohol-related businesses. But B-school students can learn how to replicate this story in other businesses and contribute constructively to the country’s economy.”

P.S.: All the facts in this article are made up. But you already knew that. Didn’t you?


Faking Manipal

Tiwari Chat Bhayya Joins AAP; To Contest Lok Sabha Poll from Udupi- Chikamagalur

Aam Aadmi Party makes a jump-start in Manipal with Tiwari Chat Bhayya joining it today. He runs ‘Tiwari Chat’ fast food chain here and is very popular among students.

aap bike rally
Large number of students accompanied him in the rally in various vehicles like Fortuner, Swift, Kawasaki Ninja etc.

The joining ceremony took place at Sutta Point near Kamath Circle in presence of large number of students. This was followed by Tiwari taking out a rally around Manipal in Wagon R which belongs to a student. Large number of students accompanied him in the rally in various vehicles like Fortuner, Swift, Kawasaki Ninja etc.

Explaining the reason for joining AAP, he said, ” I’ve lived in Manipal for many years and always wanted to see it with world-class infrastructure. Because of apathy from successive governments the town is deprived of it. Come monsoons, the roads will be full of potholes and puddles. There is also no proper drainage system. I will change this scenario if I am elected.”

He also promised to lift restrictions on partying. “This 11 pm deadline and music ban are ridiculous. I’ll work towards revoking them,” he said amid loud cheers from students.

He will be assisted in campaign by his brother Tiwari Jr., who is famous among medical-side students. Other popular figures in the town like Timmy Anna, OM Xerox Akka, LC Anna have agreed to campaign for him.

With Manipal students deciding to vote in large numbers this time, Tiwari is expected to give tough competition to candidates from Congress, BJP and JDS.

Oh! By the way… Bura na mano.. April aa gaya hai 🙂