Faking Manipal Featured

Manipal Student Doesn’t Lose Umbrella For 3 Weeks During Monsoon!

Gaurav Kode, a student at Kasturba Medical College, Manipal has just come out with a startling piece of information. He has claimed to not have lost his umbrella during the three weeks of Monsoon this year.

This in Manipal, where Umbrellas are lost in the blink of the eye, especially during the rainy season that lasts from June to October and sometimes beyond that. The national game of Manipal, is named after this particular process. Mr. Kode has claimed that this is the first time in 3 years he’s stayed at Manipal, that he hasn’t needed to buy an umbrella every week (further prodding he changed that to “borrowing” a new umbrella every week).

Quintessential Manipal - The Umbrellas tell the story of the Monsoons at Manipal! Colorful and Ubiquitous
Quintessential Manipal – The Umbrellas tell the story of the Monsoons at Manipal! Colorful and Ubiquitous. However, this year they are conspicuous by their absence.

There have been reports from other students that people are not playing the Umbrella exchange game this year with the same gusto like the earlier years.

Meanwhile, Umbrella sales have taken a hit this year.

The store keeper at a major Manipal Store near tiger circle confirmed the same when we enquired about it. However, he refused to blame the poor monsoons for the fall in umbrella sales. He said that even during summer, they have sold more umbrellas this year.

In earlier years, the pre-monsoon months were marked by the high-decibel innovative advertisements of new umbrella products, mainly for schoolkids, rolled out by competing companies. But this time, Mr. Modi paid the media to carry his own advertisements and in that process we lost out.

He said, “Each year, rain or no rain, we used to sell a lot of umbrellas. However, this year, students have become smart. They’ve read and listened to news and weather reports. This interest in news was generated by one man – the current PM of India. If it weren’t for Mr. Modi, students would have carried umbrellas to the library, thinking that it would rain.”

Another shopkeeper in Udupi added, we used to sell umbrellas to students in Manipal, because of some game they used to play, called the umbrella exchange. This year they are following the world cup football in the comforts of their homes. That is the main reason we’ve lost business.

Whatever the reason, If this trend holds, Umbrellas may be a thing of the past in Rainy Manipal!

P.S. The facts mentioned in this article are fictitious. But you already know that. Didn’t you?


Faking Manipal Featured

Manipal University Finally Gets Recognition From Sharma Aunty; Erupts In Joy

Riding high on the recent success of its alumni Satya Nadella and Rajeev Suri in the corporate world, Manipal University today added another feather in its cap by getting much-coveted recognition from Sharma Aunty. This historic moment took place at Chandni Chowk during an afternoon banter of a group of aunties.

Ketan Bhagat, a third year student from MIT Manipal, was asked by Sharma aunty in the colony about his college. When he said ‘Manipal Institute of Technology, Manipal University’, he saw awe and admiration in her eyes. She then asked, “Woh CEO wala college na?”

Ketan, who was used to responses like ‘drugs wala college’, ‘donation college’ ‘Sikkim wala college’ etc. so far, was left speechless for a while. He was even more surprised when Sharma aunty knew the exact location of Manipal University and proceeded to demonstrate it on the map of India.

Sharma aunty finally recognises Manipal University.
Sharma aunty finally recognises Manipal University.  
P.S. We apologise for the resemblance of Sharma aunty with a prominent Member of Parliament. This is absolutely co-incidental.

He immediately called up  Manipal University and broke the news to them. The public relations officer of Manipal University then convened a press conference and announced this recognition to whoever was listening in the world.

“We humbly accept this recognition from Sharma aunty. It is a great moment for us. This wouldn’t have been possible without the hard work of our students and staff. I dedicate this honor to the Manipal University family. I also use this occasion to convey my special thanks to our alumni Satya Nadella and Rajeev Suri who brought laurels to Manipal University recently,” he said in the press conference.

As soon as the news came out, thousands of students took to streets to celebrate this unique achievement. ManipalBlog managed to speak to one such student Virat Kohli in the boisterous crowd. He screamed, ” THANK YOU, SHARMA AUNTY. YOUR RECOGNITION IS A TIGHT SLAP TO MY F**** NEIGHBOUR GUPTA UNCLE!!”

Reportedly, DeeTee and Blue Waters have announced free drinks today marking the occasion. The laundry walas are offering free laundry for a week and the dobermen have decided to celebrate by being more uncooperative with the students.

P.S.: All the facts in this article are made up. But you already knew that, didn’t you?

Faking Manipal Featured

Move Over Suri, Nadella; Manipal Leopard Now Named CEO of Mangalore Zoo

After Satya Nadella and Rajeev Suri, it is the Manipal Leopard that puts the town in news. Manipal leopard, which was caputured in the town a few days back, was appointed as CEO of Pilikula Zoo, Mangalore. The big cat was taken to Pilikula Zoo after it was captured and since then impressed the zoo authorities with its conduct.

The elevation to the role of CEO didn’t come easy for the leopard. It had a tough competitor in another leopard that was captured in IIT Bombay and brought to the same zoo.Leopard Manipal

Both of them conducted themselves extremely well but what titled the dice in Manipal Leopard’s favor is its survival in Manipal forest for two months evading the threat from Manipal Bug. In fact, it made a deal with the insect and lived with it in harmony before it got captured.

“I liked its survival instincts. It also has excellent managerial skills and maintains good relations with other animals in the zoo. I am sure it will not disappoint me in its new role as CEO,” said Prakash Shetty, president of Pilikula Zoo.

Manipalblog contacted the Leopard via email. It has credited Manipal for what it is today.

“Manipal was the best time I ever had in life. A great place with wonderful people and fantastic memories. Those beautiful gardens at End Point, Potato Lovers at Snackshack and KMC Greens… I miss them. Without my stint at Manipal, I wouldn’t have been the CEO today,” said the Leopard.

Students of Manipal were visibly elated at the news. A huge flex poster was put up at End Point congratulating the leopard on its success. Also they named the junction at End Point after the leopard calling it ‘Leopard Circle’.

The immediate task for the Leopard in its new role is to increase the number of tigers in the zoo. We hope the leopard achieves its target and lives up to expectations.

P.S.: All the facts in this article are made up. But you already knew that. Didn’t you?


Faking Manipal Featured

KMC Manipal Students to get 3 days attendance if they attend classes on Saturday

After the huge and successful UTSAV 2014 campaign by students of KMC Manipal, the administration has announced that the students will be given three days attendance on Saturday April 19th.  The news comes close on the heels of MCODS Mangalore getting a holiday on Saturday to celebrate their second place in Utsav 2014.

This measure was decided at the weekly faculty meeting of the college held today evening at 5 PM to celebrate the victory at UTSAV. The cultural coördinator requested that extra attendance be given to students to make up for the bunked classes during the previous week, not just for the participants and volunteers. However, another faculty member objected to the same and suggested that attendance be given only for genuine reasons. After much debate a compromise was reached and it was decided that students who attend classes on the weekend i.e. April 19th will be rewarded with 3 days attendance.

When we contacted the students, a few of them welcomed the move and said that it will help them make up for bunking classes earlier, while some said that they will have more than 100% attendance. This will come in handy to bunk classes later.

However, a few students were saddened and asked why they were being punished for taking part in Utsav. They said that they had planned a weekend in Goa, taking advantage of the extended weekend. “17th April is already a holiday for voting, while 18th is Good Friday. I had planned a huge weekend together with my close friends in Goa. Though I plan to go ahead, it looks doubtful whether my friends will be joining me now” said Ishan Khajuria, a student in 2nd year, considered as the honeymoon phase of MBBS.

Meanwhile, students of MIT Manipal, reacted to this news with happiness. Saurav Prakash from Chemical engineering batch said “Last week KMC students were celebrating loudly after winning the Utsav trophy. Many were being arrogant and taunting us that we couldn’t take part because of sessionals. This comes as just reward. Now, we MITians will take the weekend to Goa, while KMCites will be stuck as they will be in two minds. They now will be confused, whether they are being punished or rewarded.”

P.S.: All the facts in this article are made up. But you already knew that. Didn’t you?


Faking Manipal Featured

DeeTee owner invited to give talk to IIM-B students

Manipal is in the news again. Not because of MIT, KMC or TAPMI. It’s because of DeeTee. The owner of the legendary bar in the town has been invited by IIM Bangalore to deliver branding lessons to its students.

Soon in Bangalore! Image Courtesy: Manipal The Talk
Soon in Bangalore! Image Courtesy: Manipal The Talk

So how did the glory of DeeTee hit the campus of IIM-B? Speaking to Manipalblog, the director of IIM-B said, “I first heard about DeeTee when a couple of our students with Manipal background asked for leave to visit the town. Initially they gave some lame reason but when I grilled further they confessed they want to visit Manipal only for DeeTee. I wondered why they chose some bar in small town when there are so many good pubs here in Bangalore.”

And a few days back when DeeTee announced that they are going to open their branch in Bangalore, he saw Manipal alumni and students going crazy over it online. Then he strongly felt his students should be knowing the story of branding of DeeTee and how it became an integral part of Manipal life.

The owner of DeeTee Ajay Mallya was elated with the invitation from IIM-B. “I am humbled by this gesture. I wholeheartedly dedicate this to my customers,” he said speaking exclusively to ManipalBlog. On being asked what’s the secret of DeeTee’s success, he said, “Very simple. From my end, I kept the prices low. And choice of music is left to customers. These are well complemented by the cool crowd of Manipal.”

We approached Dr. Chowdari Prasad, Dean of TAPMI for his views on the development. He congratulated the owner and said, “Personally I don’t like or endorse alcohol-related businesses. But B-school students can learn how to replicate this story in other businesses and contribute constructively to the country’s economy.”

P.S.: All the facts in this article are made up. But you already knew that. Didn’t you?


Faking Manipal Featured

Tiwari Chat Bhayya Joins AAP; To Contest Lok Sabha Poll from Udupi- Chikamagalur

Aam Aadmi Party makes a jump-start in Manipal with Tiwari Chat Bhayya joining it today. He runs ‘Tiwari Chat’ fast food chain here and is very popular among students.

aap bike rally
Large number of students accompanied him in the rally in various vehicles like Fortuner, Swift, Kawasaki Ninja etc.

The joining ceremony took place at Sutta Point near Kamath Circle in presence of large number of students. This was followed by Tiwari taking out a rally around Manipal in Wagon R which belongs to a student. Large number of students accompanied him in the rally in various vehicles like Fortuner, Swift, Kawasaki Ninja etc.

Explaining the reason for joining AAP, he said, ” I’ve lived in Manipal for many years and always wanted to see it with world-class infrastructure. Because of apathy from successive governments the town is deprived of it. Come monsoons, the roads will be full of potholes and puddles. There is also no proper drainage system. I will change this scenario if I am elected.”

He also promised to lift restrictions on partying. “This 11 pm deadline and music ban are ridiculous. I’ll work towards revoking them,” he said amid loud cheers from students.

He will be assisted in campaign by his brother Tiwari Jr., who is famous among medical-side students. Other popular figures in the town like Timmy Anna, OM Xerox Akka, LC Anna have agreed to campaign for him.

With Manipal students deciding to vote in large numbers this time, Tiwari is expected to give tough competition to candidates from Congress, BJP and JDS.

Oh! By the way… Bura na mano.. April aa gaya hai 🙂

Faking Manipal Featured

Satya Nadella Effect: Internet Explorer made default browser at MIT Manipal

MIT Manipal has decided to honor its most popular alumnus and the current Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella by making ‘Internet Explorer as default browser’ compulsory for all its students.

Internet explorer as default browser
As soon as you log on to your computer the next time, this message will pop up. If you click no, the computer will automatically shut down.

The notice in this regard has been put up on the college notice board. There will be random  checking of laptops by faculty in the campus and not complying with the above rule will result in suspension of their ION account for one week. Repeated violations will lead to confiscation of laptops.

Also the restrictions on usage of mobile phones inside classrooms will be relaxed for users of Windows phones. They can use all the features of their phones except making calls in the class. They will also be provided with unlimited ‘cold milk’ free of cost in MIT Food Court. A proper mechanism to implement this rule will be announced on April 1st.

As soon as the word went around, Nokia Lumia phones, which so far have few takers, saw rise in its prices on Manipal Market and MUTC Facebook pages.

In honor of Satya Nadella, ‘Internet Explorer as default browser’ made compulsory in MIT Manipal campus

As if these aren’t enough, MIT is also planning to hold a separate event in Techtatva 2014 in which there will be cricket contest on XBOX 360. For starters, cricket is Nadella’s favorite game and he credited the game for shaping up his leadership skills.

We at Manipalblog are wondering what triggered MIT management to come up with these gestures. A few days back one of our readers spotted a huge box in front of E&E department with Microsoft logo on it and it smelled of something like sweets. Maybe someone can help us connect the dots.

P.S.: All the facts in this article are made up. But you already knew that. Didn’t you?

The author of this article wishes to remain anonymous too :P

Faking Manipal Featured

DeeTee to open Branch in Bangalore

DeeTee, the legendary bar in Manipal, will soon have its Manipal-themed branch in Bangalore. It will be located in Koramangala locality.

The move comes in the wake of intense pressure from Manipal alumni who have been missing the ‘Manipal feel’ ever since they graduated. Explaining the features of new branch, the manager of DeeTee said, “We will create Manipal ambiance inside. Only Manipal alumni and current students will be allowed inside. There will not be any entry fee and the prices will be same as that of Manipal.

Soon in Bangalore! Image Courtesy: Manipal The Talk
Soon in Bangalore! Image Courtesy: Manipal The Talk

The customers are expected to produce some kind of proof that they studied or are studying in Manipal before entering inside.

The tables will be named after legendary places in Manipal like Kamath Circle, KMC Greens, Sutta Point, End Point and Uncle’s Point. Also you can expect stuff like Timmy Anna cocktail, Tiwari Tequila etc. as per the management. Expectedly Manipal alumni in Bangalore are elated.

“I am speechless. All these days I missed Manipal especially DeeTee. Now we Manipalites can show to Bangalore how to be cool by spending just 100 bucks for drinks,” said one Alum who wishes to be anonymous.

The opening ceremony will be in the second week of April and efforts are being made to rope in MIT alumnus and Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella as chief guest.

P.S.: All the facts in this article are made up. But you already knew that. Didn’t you?

The author of this article wishes to remain anonymous too 😛

Faking Manipal

Manipal Students Legalize Pot for Themselves

On a quiet hillock in this sleepy educational township, students have voted to legalize marijuana for their own personal use.

“This is true democracy in action,” said Vijay Chauhan, who organized the election and encouraged his fellow hostel inmates to cast a “Yes” vote. “We’re law-abiding citizens here, who were tired of feeling like criminals every time we lighted up.” Arvind Kejriwal’s success in the Delhi elections has given us a fillip to practice true democracy, where each individual is fully capable of decision-making and making government policies.

Marijuana is the world's most widely used illicit drug.
Marijuana is the world’s most widely used illicit drug.

The unanimous vote, conducted last Saturday at Block 19 in the MIT campus, allows hostelites to consume marijuana for recreational use inside their own rooms, in their lobbies and anywhere on the campus. This news comes close on the heels of Uruguay becoming the first country to legalize marijuana for general consumption.

Legal analysts disagree as to whether the extremely local ordinance, referred to as “The Smrithi Law,” would hold up in court. But Deewakar Shettigar, a defense attorney who lives in Manipal, believes the vote is a legitimate amendment to the Dakshina Kannada penal code, and has offered his legal services free-of-charge to any of the students who get arrested while smoking pot in their own rooms.

“It was a fair vote, conducted by the students, for the students and of the students — people determined to control their own destinies,” explained Shettigar. “What law in its right meaning would oppose that?”

As a result of the Smrithi Law, other university towns throughout India are considering conducting similar votes. Vijay Chauhan is planning to develop a website along the lines of the Aam Aadmi Party to enroll volunteers to draft a constitutional amendment and create a political party that is truly democratic!

“If the representatives we vote for aren’t going to vote for the things we want them voting for, ” he said in a slow, deliberate voice, often slurring his words for emphasis, “then we’re going to vote for those things ourselves.”

P.S. : All facts mentioned in this article are fictitious, but you already knew that! Didn’t you?
Faking Manipal Featured

Manipal runs out of sweets after TCS recruitment

Today we learnt that the town ran out of sweets. This is attributed to TCS recruitment in MIT where large number of students are absorbed by the IT major on Saturday.

All students who are placed reportedly bought sweets to share their success with their faculty who helped them realise their dreams. Though placements happen every year, this is the first time shops in Manipal ran out of sweets.

” Since the start of this semester, I have observed that large number of students are coming here to buy sweets. So we increased our inventory likewise, but today all of a sudden our entire stock was mopped up in an hour.To keep up with the demand I tried to source sweets from neighbouring Udupi and Kaup but still fell short,” said the owner of Amita bakery.

He added a congratulatory note to the students and wished all the best for their future.

Sweets Bakery Puffs
The Amita Bakery was not displaying any sweets when we visited the shop this afternoon. The normally bustling shop wore a deserted look as most customers already saw the empty sweets display.

The nearby Manipal Bakery too did not have any sweets on display.

This shortage has created buzz in the town. It prompted Kasturba Medical College, Manipal faculty to caution their MIT counterparts against eating too many sweets in the placement semester.

It is also heard that the town ran of out booze on Saturday and Sunday but we have no confirmation about this.

P.S. : All facts mentioned in this article are fictitious, but you already knew that! Didn’t you?

The author of this post wishes to remain anonymous.