Faking Manipal Featured

Dying Japanese Boy Spends Millions To Attend Manipal Counselling

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When the chance to visit the Manipal University Counseling and the MIT orientation was presented to Manipal fanatic Watanabe Takahashi, age 25, of Tokyo, Japan, he jumped at the chance.

“Manipal University is revered here in Japan,” said the rising computer whiz kid. “To get the chance to make the journey is very very special for me and my family.” ManipalBlog was tipped off about this story that was sure to tug at the heart-strings of you, our reader(s), so we tracked down Watanabe, known as “Wa” to friends.

What about the tremendous expense of traveling halfway around the world to attend a simple counselling? “Oh, it’s nothing,” said Wa with a polite bow and a dismissive wave of his hand. “Only about $8,000, I think, definitely less than $10,000, and most of that is paid for by my company.”japanese teen

Oh, we said. We had heard that you spent millions to get here to Manipal. Wa’s eyes widened. “Millions? No way! Not millions. Only one million,” or as Wa actually put it, “onry one mirrion.” One million dollars! we asked, using an exclamation point instead of a question mark to show our surprise and amazement. That will be an amazing story for our readers, we said. “No, sirry American! One mirrion Japanese yen, sirry!” Wa patiently explained that 10,000 U.S. dollars equal roughly 1,023,000 Japanese yen.

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Okay, so perhaps our insider news tipster got that minor detail slightly wrong. We were still left with the delicate issue of Mr. Takahashi’s precarious health situation. Tell us about this being your last Manipal visit, we began. “Final? It’s my first Manipal visit,” Wa told us, quickly adding, “I don’t imagine I’ll ever experience something this special again. I hope to return, but I don’t know.”

So you may never return?
“That’s correct,” he said.
So then this could indeed be your last Manipal visit?
“That’s true. Right,” said Wa.

Aha! we said.
“I would call it a once in a lifetime experience, definitely,” he added.
Our source said you’re a dying man, we told Wa.
“Well,” he said, “today we’re all one day closer, aren’t we? I mean, really?”
Good point, we admitted.

About the Author: The author wishes to remain anonymous and watch from the sidelines as suffers the consequences of posting such a wonderful article.

P.S.: All facts mentioned in this article are Fiction. 
But we guess, you already knew that, didn't you?
Faking Manipal Featured

How Coastal Karnataka bus drivers developed Itch for Speed Driving!

In the black slurry of paddy fields, flanked by enthusiastic and cheering fans on both sides of the track, energetic pairs of buffaloes (powered by the whips from whip-lashing pilots) compete for the  ultimate glory in the world of Grand Prix Buffalo Drag Racing (or simply Buffalo Formula One). This is a traditional sport in coastal Karnataka and is called KAMBALA in Tulu. As of now, around 45 races are held each season at different race tracks and the buffalo pair with highest number of points at the end of each season wins the championship.

kambala Coastal Karnataka Manipal Mangalore Kadri
Image source- Dinesh Hegde: Kambala: The race of the buffaloes

A few decades back when road infrastructure was not well developed, this sport used to be very popular among the youth of Coastal Karnataka. Overtime they developed excellent racing and coördination skills due to this.

Gradually, the road infrastructure started developing resulting in more buses on the roads. To do justice to their racing skills and pursue their passion for speed, most of these Kambala pilots then took to bus driving and thus racing on roads began.

force indiaInitially, people were scared of these buses but slowly they got used to them as the accident rates were very less thanks to the driving skills of the drivers. This speed legacy is still continued by the contemporary bus drivers.

This passion for speed in coastal Karnataka has also made the country proud in the world of Formula One. As as well know, Vijay Mallya owns Sahara Force India which is one of the top 5 F1 teams in the world . In his youth, Mallya owned a team in Kambala called Bantwal Royal Challengers. This was one of the best teams in the sport winning five championships. After this successful stint at Kambala, Mallya wanted to own a F1 team and thus Force India came into existence in 2007.


P.S.: All facts mentioned in this article are Fiction. 
But we guess, you already knew that, didn't you?
Faking Manipal Featured

MIT to have Unisex hostels on trial basis?

In an interesting development, MIT Manipal seems to be toying with the concept of Unisex hostels in the campus. This is evident from the hostel allotment list that came out yesterday as per which some guys were allotted rooms in girls’ hostels and vice-versa.

Fernando Alonso, a student who resides in Udupi, was alloted a room in 13th Block Girls’ Hostel even though he didn’t apply for any room. He was surprised when his friends broke the news to him. Many of them asked Alonso to give his new room to them but he didn’t give them any assurance.MIT Manipal Hostels go Unisex on trial basis

“My friends are after me now to get that room… ha ha ha… Why would I give it to them? That’s like a dream coming true for me. Now it’s only a matter of convincing my parents on some pretext and shift to my new room,” he said with glee.

Some students see it as a bait to bring back students to hostels who moved out citing lack of bus service in the campus. “Allotting such rooms to the students who are staying outside…this must surely be a bait to fill up the hostels,” said a student speaking on the condition of anonymity.

Initially thought of by everyone as a computer glitch, people just made fun of the incident until many other similar incidents came to light.

A male student, Maha Kaurav, who completed his course last month and has already left Manipal, was allotted a room in 9th Block Boys’ Hostel along with a girl and one more guy in ‘double room’. He brought this to Student Council‘s notice on Facebook Page. He was apparently unhappy for not being able to accept the gift bestowed upon him by the college.

Speaking to ManipalBlog, he said, “It is too late….but well, I will try taking spot admission in M.Tech and try to accept the gift from my beloved MIGHTY MIGHT MIT. If I can’t get admission in M.Tech now, I will auction the room on Manipal Market Facebook Group and make some quick buck.I am already flooded with open offers on Student Council Page… ha ha ha.”

A third student, Dev Misla, was allotted the First Block, along with two girls! However, this news remained unconfirmed.

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Many MIT guys we spoke to are almost unanimous when it comes to favoring unisex hostels. In case of girls, they responded tersely by saying “not really” when we asked them if they favor such hostels.

At the time of writing this, we don’t have any concrete information about MIT management deliberately trying this concept of Unisex Hostels. As per one insider in Student Council, this goof-up must have happened because of students playing pranks and nothing else. But he admitted he was personally in favor of having unisex hostels.

For more latest developments visit this link.

P.S.: All facts mentioned in this article are Fiction. 
But we guess, you already knew that, didn't you?
Faking Manipal Featured

Gujarat CM Narendra Modi to visit Manipal

Gujarat CM Narendra Modi will visit Manipal on May 5th to congratulate the two recently elected BJP Councillors from Manipal. There are only two wards in Manipal and BJP won both comfortably in spite of Congress wave in the state.

The details of the visit were announced to the media by Eshwar Nagar Councillor Devendra Nayak. He said, “After the election results are out, his PA called me up and said Modi bhai wants to personally congratulate both the Councillors of Manipal for putting up a good show in spite of anti-incumbency. ” He said ” Modi bhai was particularly impressed with our performance because we clean swept Manipal in spite of Congress winning neighboring Udupi municipality.”

You look at my hands... but you forget the tricks I've already done!!
You look at my hands… but you forget the tricks I’ve already done!!

He added, “The other Councillor and I were really surprised at the news. It took sometime for the news to sink in.”

Modi will also address the student entrepreneurs of the town. There will be an interactive session with them as well.

Student entrepreneurs expressed happiness and excitement over them meeting Modi. Vikram Tomar, Co-founder of said, “It’s a privilege to interact with industry-friendly CM like Modi. I am excited and eagerly looking forwarding to it.”

Coming as it is during the pre-election phase of campaigning, the BJP is banking on his charisma to win back the Mangalore and Udupi constituencies in the legislative assembly. A local party worker said that, Modi’s visit would boost the confidence of the grass root workers and increase the strength of campaigning.

Many students of the town welcomed Modi’s visit but some students were visibly unhappy at the visit. Tulika Ben, a student of MIT said, “I don’t think this will make any difference to our lives. Going by his interaction with SRCC students, I think he will boast about his govt. He might say the kites we fly at Malpe have come from Gujarat and will take credit for that.

Meanwhile, Congress ridiculed the purpose of Modi’s visit. Pramod Bharadwaj, a congress leader from Udupi said, “This is really hilarious. BJP was drubbed badly in both Udupi and Mangalore in the recent elections. Then I hear Modi is gonna come to Manipal. I am sure he will use this opportunity to brag about himself and his govt. Better he also takes a consolation yatra to console all the BJP candidates in Udupi and Mangalore who lost in the recent elections.”

P.S: All the facts in this article are made up! But you already knew that didn’t you?  

Faking Manipal Featured

Dogs protest in front of MIT Chief Warden’s office; attack campus patrol jeep

MANIPAL: Reacting to the circular issued by MIT Chief Warden which asks students to refrain from feeding stray dogs in the campus,all the dogs in MIT campus staged a protest in front of his office urging him to revoke the circular.Many students, especially females joined the protest expressing their solidarity with the dogs.

Where it all began

With both sides refusing to give in,the imbroglio continued for a long time until Chief Warden‘s Office offered a compromise formula. As per it,all the in-campus dogs should register themselves at KC Security Room and the registered ones will be fed the leftover food from all the hostel messes and Food Court.This will be done at Sutta Point outside the campus and the dogs are not supposed to enter the campus.

But dogs rejected the offer and continued their protest.Speaking to  Faking Manipal, Siri-the representative of dogs said,”WTF!! We don’t want that food from hostel messes and FC. Girls from 13th Block feed us with Chicken Pieces from Saiba and Attil apart from the usual Lay’s and cookies. One of the guys at 10th block treated me to Chicken Nuggets and Tuborg beer once…We will miss all this.So we are not going to settle for anything less than revocation of that damn circular.”

Siri further added,”I don’t understand what the hell is their problem.We never attacked anyone in the campus or snatched away food from students.We eat only what is offered to us.”

Students were almost unanimous when it came to criticizing Chief Warden‘s Office in this regard. Maneka Gandhi,an inmate of 13th Block said,”I dunno who complained against them.Dogs are cute,quiet and sweet.They add beauty to the campus.In fact one dog escorts me to the NLH classroom everyday from my hostel.No matter what I am gonna feed them.”

But one guy from 10th Block welcomed the decision.”I had to feed these f**king dogs everyday at KC and act as if I love them..all this to impress my girl.A very good move by authorities.I hope they enforce it strictly.”

The protest turned violent when Campus Patrol men tried to shoo the dogs away.Some of the dogs attacked the Patrol Jeep and Policemen.This prompted Riot Control Force to enter the campus and arrest the dogs.

Police slapped cases of attacking police men on duty and creating nuisance against the dogs and they were put up in Manipal Police Station.

P.S.: All the facts in this article are made up! But you already knew that, didn’t you?  

Faking Manipal Featured Miscellaneous

ManipalBlog Exclusive: Interview with Founder of

Rahul Roushan, the founder of Faking News was in MIC Manipal yesterday for giving a talk on “Blogging and fake news as a relief from mainstream media”. He is an IIM graduate and one of top influential Indians on Web Media. ManipalBlog caught up with him over a plate of ‘peanuts’ after the talk. He’s been very friendly throughout the interview. Here are the excerpts:

fakingnews Interview

ManipalBlog (MB): Hi,dude…

Rahul Roushan (RR):  🙂 Hi..

MB: Here goes my first question…In the talk , you were beating around the bush when someone in the audience asked about your target audience. You could have directly said ‘Internet Hindus‘,na?

RR: You know,I get scared when I go to journalism colleges as they generally have people with leftist ideology in abundance.  Since I am slightly right leaning, I don’t take chances there…Yes, my audience are mostly Internet hindus… Also, the other reason was that the guy sitting in the last row who disagreed with me on everything looked towards me so menacingly… Salaa!!

MB: Seems you talked about threats from only Hindu groups for the same reason cited above…

RR: Yes, you are right…..I didn’t talk about ‘secular’ threats for the same reason.

MB: Do you think ‘Internet Hindus’ will still patronize Faking News even after Narendra Modi becoming PM in 2014 since there will be less scope for satire?

RR: I don’t fucking trust these people. Though I like NaMo, I am secretly wishing that Mulayam becomes PM. I can start writing satires right from the victory celebrations itself …And I know it’s difficult but I can’t ask for more if Rahul Gandhi  becomes PM. 😀

MB: You’re talking about threats from Arindham Chaudhry…

RR: (indignantly)The matter is subjudice now and so I can’t speak about that ‘suer’ Arindham now..

MB: You go soft on Barkha Dutt on twitter while you are merciless on other journalists. Grapevine is that you have a crush on her…

RR: (with a blush) Not really…that crush was during my teenage. 😀

MB: You weren’t even looking at MIC girls..Are you so shy?

RR: Abey yaar…I wanted to talk to them but I am married now. Almost everyone around were holding DSLRs… My marriage life would be ruined if someone clicks  pics with chicks and they reach my better half. Not that she is possessive but why take a chance?

MB: Wonder what’s that stuff inside the bag (referring to the gift bag given by MIC)?

RR: (opening the bag..) Ouch!!It’s Arundhati Roy’s book. (Laughs loudly)… WOW!!  This is an expensive perfume from Dubai. Great!!..And this looks like coconut chutney. My wife loves it…But why coconuts specifically? Woh Kerala me famous hai na? (Kerala is famous for them, right?)

MB: I am not an MICian myself but it seems,like gulf and PMO , Mallus have conquered MIC as well. Now MIC celebrates Onam officially. Coconut chutney and that expensive perfume must be the idea of some powerful Gulf mallu here.

RR: Oh,I see…Btw,that Bad Doctor guy on twitter is a mallu as well and of late he’s getting too many followers. He can be a potential competitor to Faking News. I got to watch out.

MB: What’s your message to MICians?

RR: (with a scornful laugh) Abey yaar… Bakwaas bandh kar… maine diya tha na lecture mein, abhi fir se? (Stop this shit,man. I have already given it in the talk..Now again?)….(with a sigh) Ok, for your sake I will repeat that thing… It’s simple… When you make a news program, you should keep in mind that you are competing with saas-bahu serials of Star Plus and Colors, not the news channels… It’s all about TRPs. The same applies to newspapers as well. Here just follow what Times O fIndia does…

(His phone rings and our conversation was interrupted)

(After a couple of minutes, he disengages the phone and looks at our reporter)

Hey, they invited me to some place called Dee Tee now..I got to go. If you have anything else to ask,call me up later.(gives his contact number)

MB: No problem.Thanks for the interview,yaar.Here’s small gift from (hands over a book titled Pizza Porn)

RR: Thanks,dude..This title looks provocative..What’s this book about?

MB:It is a fictional novel based on manipal.

RR: Cool… chalo ciao.

MB: Bye

(He leaves to Dee Tee in Skoda Superb)  We called him up later to get his opinion on Dee Tee

MB:(After revealing our identity on phone) How was Dee Tee.? It’s a legendary place in Manipal. What are your thoughts about it?

RR: Wonderful place it is… That host guy was like ‘even Old Monk tastes like a scotch in Dee Tee’… He was bang on!!The music, the atmosphere and those delicious ‘peanuts’…What a great feeling! But that feeling vanished as soon as I remembered Rajdeep Sardesai and his love for Old Monk … Bhencho!!

MB: (fakes laughter) hahaha..

RR: Anyways, I had a nice time in Manipal…Would love to come again..I shall take leave..Bye and take care.

 MB: Bye. And thanks again for the interview.

P.S: All the facts in this article are made up! But you already knew that, didn’t you?  

Faking Manipal Featured

MIT student suspended for wearing Papa CJ T-shirt

In a shocking incident, a student of MIT was suspended today for wearing a T-shirt with obscene quote. The quote, attributed to a stand-up comedian called Papa CJ,read: “I come from the land of Kamasutra.I can fuck you in more ways than you can count.”

This quote led to the suspension of Raj Arora an MIT Student. Source: dpv888 on Twitter
This quote led to the suspension of Raj Arora an MIT Student. Source: dpv888 on Twitter

The student,Raj Arora (NAME CHANGED) from Mechanical Engineering branch, was caught by the director when he was passing by the latter’s office. Immediately,the director issued suspension orders pending investigation.

On Sunday,Papa CJ performed in KMC Greens in front of huge audience and created a laugh riot. At the end of the show, his message to the students was to be proud of India and asked them to cite the above said ‘quote’ when someone demeans India.

Faking Manipal section reporter of ManipalBlog spoke to Raj Arora after his suspension. Regretting his mistake he said, “In the show, TAPMI Director and faculty members were cool about adult jokes. I thought the same about our college as well, but I was mistaken. Damn!! I shouldn’t have worn that Tee.”

The students of MIT expressed shock over the suspension. One of them,Chaudhry Singh Prasad (NAME CHANGED), who’s organising an event in Revels 2012 (MIT cultural fest) said, “After the success of Papa CJ show in Atharva, we thought of including a similar event in Revels as well. But now we have second thoughts about it. As a matter of fact, our management imposed restrictions on dress as well for the Fashion Show event.”

P.S: All the facts in this article are made up! But you already knew that, didn’t you?