Faking Manipal

Mystery Man haunting 13th Block MIT Manipal Girls revealed!

The story of the 13th Block haunting took an unexpected twist when an old papyrus was discovered dating to the early 17th century at the T.M.A. Pai museum a couple of days ago. The papyrus, written in English, probably a remnant of the Portuguese/English occupation of the country has a cryptic verse which reads:

It’s night, winter and snow falls deeply for the first time upon the mouth of hell. The moon is high and the nightlife stops to take in the anomaly. She holds him to her, his pale skin belongs to the demons, she thinks, as she slowly scratches her trembling fingers down his back.

The papyrus further elaborates that this pale skinned man and the woman in question fell madly in love and eloped to what is now known to all of us as Manipal. It also states that the girl died after local residents found her to be very ugly looking and separated her from the pale skinned companion.

Within a couple of nights after the discovery of the papyrus,in an interesting but equally shocking development,the mystery person of the 13th Block 2:00 A.M. knock turned out to be a pale skinned person who bears a shocking resemblance to the vampire Edward Cullen from the ever popular Twilight saga. Could the pale person be the same individual as mentioned in the papyrus from the museum? ManipalBlog tried to follow the case further and came to know that the person was caught red-handed by the lady guards while trying to break into the hostel block in an inebriated state.

A Pale skinned person was caught red-handed by the lady guards while trying to break into the 13th block hostel!

According to the Chief Warden,the incident took place at 1:50 AM on Monday.

In his statement, the warden said “A pale skinned person was seen by the lady guard Muanmaramma at about 1:50 AM early on Monday.She immediately called the campus patrol van and alerted a couple of her colleagues who usually fall asleep at that god-forsaken hour. By chance, her colleagues were awake at that time and they pounced on the poor man with broom sticks,beat him up till he fell unconscious and informed the police.”

There was a huge buzz in the campus today, especially among the lady students, who took it as a sign that real life vampires do exist. One of the girls even went to the extent of saying that, the pale person was actually Edward Cullen, the vampire. The girl, who calls herself Stella Swan, contacted our blogger and passed along this message to Edward; “Ohhhh….you are chooo chweet.muaaaahh..neva knew it waz you.damn these can they beat up such a cute guy…poowa you… next time I’ll leave my window open.. you know which one…”

The man was later admitted to the Medical ward at Kasturba Hospital. Sources say that the blood bank has been placed under strict supervision and the lady nurse in-charge has been told that she has to give a detailed report of all the units that are being used.

Upon hearing that the Edward lookalike was in a serious condition at the hospital,Twilight fans in the block went crazy.They swarmed over to the hospital like honey bees and the police had to resort to lathi charge to disperse the crowd. Later, the on duty doctor, issued a statement that the man is in a very stable condition and that he does not have any external injuries from the incident. However, he will be kept under observation as this is a very unique case. The doctor did not elaborate what was unique about the case to our reporters.

The police have registered a case of trespassing against him. They have asked the hospital authorities not to allow any visitors to the room in which the Edward lookalike is being held.

After much persuasion and many promises our source was allowed into the room by the nurse in-charge. When we asked him why he visited the girl’s block so many times and disappeared and whether there was a link with the papyrus, he screamed at our source; “What the fuck! Those girls must be hallucinating.I have been here just once a couple of years back to meet my sweetheart who stays in the 13th Block. I almost met her, but the Manipal Bug bit me on my face and I had to rush back. Imagine, if she saw my disfigured face!! And now, I came here for the same reason..Damn..they beat me up with some shitty broomsticks…”

Meanwhile,sources tell us that the rooms which so far have been left unoccupied due to the fear of ghost-knocking at night are said to be in full demand now.

P.S : All facts in this article are made up but you already knew that, didn’t you?

Faking Manipal

Annapoorna MIT Boys Mess to have 5% Reservations for Girls!

Winds of change that have swept across MIT have now pinched Annapoorna mess. After the Revolution in front of the Manipal.Edu building on 15th March 2012, MIT ordered setting up of a Mess committee to look into various problems about seating and food. After lengthy consultations and innumerable haggling, many decisions were taken. According to the notice from Chief Warden‘s office, Annapoorna MIT Boys Mess will now have 5% seats reserved for girls in all the four sessions w.e.f. April 2,2012.

Explaining the rationale behind the move,the Chief Warden told us, “Many clubs in MIT organise their events at 10th block basketball court. Being a part of organising committees girls come here and they are seen eating here often. So,we decided to reserve some seats for them here so that they don’t face any inconvenience.”

The decision was welcomed by both boys and girls of the college. Some girls even went to the extent of suggesting that, similar concession should be allowed to boys of MIT at their hostels.

“It’s a nice decision with a very good intention. But I don’t think reservation is required. When I dined in the mess, boys over there were willing to part with their seats and offer me theirs. They are very nice and cordial,” said Kareena Kaif, a female student who has dined in Annapoorna a couple of times.She is of the opinion that  girls should be allowed to join the mess with their mess cards which will prevent the tag of ‘freeloaders’ on them.

Kamaal Bahesh Mhatt, an inmate of 10th block,said, “It’s a good proactive move by Chief Warden and I wholeheartedly welcome it.”  Surprisingly,a few days back Kamaal was seen abusing college authorities  with choicest abuses(on Facebook) because of congestion in Annapoorna mess.

Following the announcement,the MIT girl students, who often like to eat at Annapoorna Mess, have decided to give a list of items that they would like to be ready in the Kitchens. We have learnt that they want more “Girly Foods”,including, Quiché; tossed salad with a light vinaigrette dressing (Romaine lettuce, without that cheap Iceberg crap); strawberries and champagne; cheesecake (modest slices to keep their figures good); chocolate — especially dark chocolate, higher in antioxidants; chicken, grilled or baked; fish grilled, poached, or baked; steamed vegetables.

A Truck brings in Fresh supplies to Annapoorna Mess, MIT, Manipal
A Truck brings in Fresh supplies to Annapoorna Mess, MIT, Manipal following demands by its girl members to have many light calorie foods on the menu.

We have learnt  that the Mess Manager is going to introduce Dairy Milk chocolate in the menu on  Wednesday evenings as per the suggestion from one of the girls. He also said,most of the stuff they’ve requested will be slowly introduced into the menu.When asked why he does not consider any suggestions made by the boys, he said ” Shakal dekhi hai aaine mein?”.


P.S : All facts in this article are made up but you already knew that, didn’t you ?

Faking Manipal

MU begins LOVE campaign in MIT; Benetton uniforms to be enforced on Campus Patrol

In a step seen to assuage angry students of MIT, MU authorities have kick-started LOVE campaign in the campus.

As per the campaign,the campus patrol men ,who are perceived to harass the students ,will be seen in Benetton outfits from tomorrow. The move comes after yesterday’s meeting between MU officials and MIT students held at Quadrangle, MIT.

MU official Dr.Joseph Kony said, “In the meeting with MIT students,most of them complained about harassment by the Campus Patrol men. So we’ve decided to put an end to this practice. We love and care for our students. From now on,we assure you Campus Patrol won’t harass our students. As a symbol of love, campus patrol men will be seen in Benetton outfits from now on.”

Also the name of Campus Patrol jeep has been changed to Dove from Eagle.The jeep will sport a ‘dove motif’ on its body. Dove is the symbol of love and peace in many communities.

The latest move from MU authorities has been met with derision from students. “WTH! I didn’t expect this kind of silly move when that official kept on repeating WE LOVE YOU at least a dozen times in the meeting. If they seriously love us,they need to do away with Campus Patrol altogether. It’s an unnecessary drain of funds,” opined an unconfirmed student on the condition of anonymity.

P.S : All facts in this article are made up but you already knew that, didn’t you?

Faking Manipal

Breaking News: Departments to collect the data of FAGs in College – MIT Joint Director

In what could go down as a ground breaking development, MIT Joint Director ordered all the departments to furnish the details of FAGS‘ by Monday positively. The move comes in the wake of complaints received by him from various departments about poor attendance.

Talking to our correspondent,he said, “In every meeting of mine with HODs, they complain about students coming late to the class and low attendance,especially in the ‘core branches’. Our policy on attendance is not sufficient to deter those students from doing so. It’s high time I put a check to this practice. So,first we will collect the data on FAGS.”

A T-Shirt designed by a resourceful FAG, who frequently writes for ManipalBlog, to cash in on the latest controversy.

Asked what action he would take after procuring the data,he said, “After we have data on them, I’d constitute a special squad comprising faculty members and ask them to keep a tab on FAGS. This includes surprise visits to their rooms anytime and  also monitoring their activities outside the campus. If they are found to be doing ‘strange and useless’ things without attending classes,then we’d inform their parents and suspend them from college.”

Not surprisingly,this move has outraged the FAGS in the campus. “WTF!!!They come to our rooms anytime to see what we are doing? This is infringement of privacy. I will talk to other FAGS and see if we can bring injunction against this order,” fumed a FAG from one of the core branches who requested anonymity.

On asking what exactly does the term FAG mean and whether the college has gone too far this time, unconfirmed sources, which included a 9 Pointer and a gold medalist for attendance,  informed us that FAG is slang for “Frequently Absent Guys” and the college is well within it’s right to take this drastic measure!

Meanwhile ManipalBlog has learnt from reliable FAGs that  there might be disruption of the classes from Monday till the new order is rescinded. Backdoor negotiations are still going on.

P.S : All facts in this article are made up but you already knew that, didn’t you ?

Faking Manipal

MIT Director turns down Times of India’s sponsorship offer for Revels 2012

In yet another setback to the leading national newspaper the Times of India (TOI), a college in Manipal has declined to allow them sponsorship of  the prestigious college festivities. This comes after the campaign for The Hindu broke in India and there’s been a ton of discussion, most of it negatively directed at the Times of India (TOI).

In what could dampen the spirits of MIT students, its director has turned down a sponsorship offer by a leading national newspaper, the TOI for the upcoming college event Revels 2012. The reason provided  is that the paper is full of sleazy and obscene content and the institute doesn’t officially encourage such things inside the campus.

“We appreciate the efforts of students to get sponsors for the cultural fest, but we can’t encourage sleaze inside the campus.They are advised to exercise discretion while approaching the sponsors,” said the spokesperson for the director’s office.

Understandably, students were outraged over the decision. “With this kind of retrograde policy, we can’t elevate our cultural fest to the next level,” said a student associated with management of revels 2012.

Our correspondent spoke to Revels 2012 sponsorship head Kamal Rashid Khan, who was visibly upset over the decision. He explained how the director rejected the offer. “We went to the director with a list of sponsors for approval, which we thought is just a formality. But to our surprise, she asked us about the brief background of the sponsors, which we provided, the last name being TOI. She asked her assistant to get a copy of  TOI. Upon skimming through the paper, she was livid after seeing Poonam Pandey and Pamela Anderson dressed in skimpy outfits on the very first page. She struck off TOI from the list, reprimanded us and told MIT cannot officially associate itself with such tabloids.”

But he has a reason to cheer. He said, “Thank God that she didn’t open the TOI website. Otherwise, I’d have been suspended with so many articles available on TOI website encouraging PMS, extra-marital affairs etc…”

This is not the first time MIT is in news for such reasons. A few years ago, the then director of MIT, Mr. Yes Yes Tabla, also turned down the sponsorship offer of Kingfisher citing the brand’s association with alcohol.

P.S : All facts in this article are made up but you already knew that, didn’t you ?