Faking Manipal

Breaking News: Departments to collect the data of FAGs in College – MIT Joint Director

In what could go down as a ground breaking development, MIT Joint Director ordered all the departments to furnish the details of FAGS‘ by Monday positively. The move comes in the wake of complaints received by him from various departments about poor attendance.

Talking to our correspondent,he said, “In every meeting of mine with HODs, they complain about students coming late to the class and low attendance,especially in the ‘core branches’. Our policy on attendance is not sufficient to deter those students from doing so. It’s high time I put a check to this practice. So,first we will collect the data on FAGS.”

A T-Shirt designed by a resourceful FAG, who frequently writes for ManipalBlog, to cash in on the latest controversy.

Asked what action he would take after procuring the data,he said, “After we have data on them, I’d constitute a special squad comprising faculty members and ask them to keep a tab on FAGS. This includes surprise visits to their rooms anytime and  also monitoring their activities outside the campus. If they are found to be doing ‘strange and useless’ things without attending classes,then we’d inform their parents and suspend them from college.”

Not surprisingly,this move has outraged the FAGS in the campus. “WTF!!!They come to our rooms anytime to see what we are doing? This is infringement of privacy. I will talk to other FAGS and see if we can bring injunction against this order,” fumed a FAG from one of the core branches who requested anonymity.

On asking what exactly does the term FAG mean and whether the college has gone too far this time, unconfirmed sources, which included a 9 Pointer and a gold medalist for attendance,  informed us that FAG is slang for “Frequently Absent Guys” and the college is well within it’s right to take this drastic measure!

Meanwhile ManipalBlog has learnt from reliable FAGs that  there might be disruption of the classes from Monday till the new order is rescinded. Backdoor negotiations are still going on.

P.S : All facts in this article are made up but you already knew that, didn’t you ?

Faking Manipal

MIT Director turns down Times of India’s sponsorship offer for Revels 2012

In yet another setback to the leading national newspaper the Times of India (TOI), a college in Manipal has declined to allow them sponsorship of  the prestigious college festivities. This comes after the campaign for The Hindu broke in India and there’s been a ton of discussion, most of it negatively directed at the Times of India (TOI).

In what could dampen the spirits of MIT students, its director has turned down a sponsorship offer by a leading national newspaper, the TOI for the upcoming college event Revels 2012. The reason provided  is that the paper is full of sleazy and obscene content and the institute doesn’t officially encourage such things inside the campus.

“We appreciate the efforts of students to get sponsors for the cultural fest, but we can’t encourage sleaze inside the campus.They are advised to exercise discretion while approaching the sponsors,” said the spokesperson for the director’s office.

Understandably, students were outraged over the decision. “With this kind of retrograde policy, we can’t elevate our cultural fest to the next level,” said a student associated with management of revels 2012.

Our correspondent spoke to Revels 2012 sponsorship head Kamal Rashid Khan, who was visibly upset over the decision. He explained how the director rejected the offer. “We went to the director with a list of sponsors for approval, which we thought is just a formality. But to our surprise, she asked us about the brief background of the sponsors, which we provided, the last name being TOI. She asked her assistant to get a copy of  TOI. Upon skimming through the paper, she was livid after seeing Poonam Pandey and Pamela Anderson dressed in skimpy outfits on the very first page. She struck off TOI from the list, reprimanded us and told MIT cannot officially associate itself with such tabloids.”

But he has a reason to cheer. He said, “Thank God that she didn’t open the TOI website. Otherwise, I’d have been suspended with so many articles available on TOI website encouraging PMS, extra-marital affairs etc…”

This is not the first time MIT is in news for such reasons. A few years ago, the then director of MIT, Mr. Yes Yes Tabla, also turned down the sponsorship offer of Kingfisher citing the brand’s association with alcohol.

P.S : All facts in this article are made up but you already knew that, didn’t you ?